By: Ana Bolt Turrall
Trigger Warning: domestic abuse.
I was once in love with a man who became my husband, the father of my three daughters, and ultimately, my abuser. The abuse started gradually—first verbal and emotional, then escalating to physical violence. Without realizing it, I lost control of my life. I made excuses for him, justifying his actions when he pushed or yelled, blaming his exhaustion or tough days at work. When the hitting began, I found myself trapped in a cycle of pain and fear.
I prayed that he would change, hoping it wouldn’t happen again. But it did—again and again. With a family at stake, I tried to keep us together, but the abuse spiraled beyond my control. I knew I had to leave, for the sake of my three young daughters who were watching. I owed it to them to be strong, turn to God, and leave this man behind.
Breaking Free from Abuse and Finding Strength
His last words to me were, “You won’t dance again.” Those words cut deep, just like the injuries he inflicted. But I refused to let them define my future. I fell into depression and anxiety, but I knew I needed to heal—for myself and for my daughters. I began taking care of myself both physically and spiritually. Physical therapy helped restore my body, but it was turning to God that brought color back into my life. It was the first step toward true healing.
Rediscovering Pilates: My Path to Healing
In my journey to heal, I rediscovered my love for Pilates—a passion I’d had since college. Pilates became my lifeline. Though fear initially held me back, I gave myself a second chance, enrolling in a comprehensive Pilates program with Polestar Pilates. I completed it, and for the first time in a long while, I recognized my own value. I saw the strength in my abilities, not just as a mother, but as a woman and a teacher. Every small achievement helped me rediscover who I truly was.
Pilates, Dance, and Faith: The Pillars to My Recovery
Investing in my Pilates education with Polestar Pilates was the best decision I made for myself. I saw the impact it had on my teaching career and how it helped my students—especially dancers and athletes. Feeling stronger and more grounded, I decided to audition for a local dance company, “Dance Now Ensemble,” and was invited to join. For several years, I danced on stages across the country. Pilates, dance, and faith became the pillars of my recovery, and they continue to shape my new life. Joseph Pilates called his method “Contrology,” and I’m living proof of its power to unify body, mind, and spirit.
Helping Others Heal Through Pilates and Dance
Through Pilates and dance, I realized I could help others heal just as they had helped me. The world often prescribes pharmaceuticals, which can lead to a cycle of dependency. I wanted to offer an alternative rooted in hope, faith, and physical strength. I began sharing my story through dance, helping others find their voices and their strength.
Forgiveness and Spiritual Growth
Today, I’m proud of the woman I’ve become. Forgiveness played a key role in my healing. That moment of grace allowed me to forgive myself and release the anger and fear. It freed me to embrace the life God had planned for me. One of my recent projects, Embodied Grace: An Exploration of Theology of the Body Through Photography, is dedicated to those who’ve faced trauma, rejection, and body image struggles. Through my business, The Bolt Movement, and my program Fit Para Dios, I help others heal through faith, Pilates, and dance. As a bilingual instructor, I’m blessed to share this message in both Spanish and English.
Forgiveness is difficult, but it’s essential for healing. Through faith, Pilates, and dance, I found my way out of darkness, and now I encourage others to do the same.
About the Author
Ana Bolt Turrall is a movement educator and artist whose journey spans continents and disciplines. Originally from Nicaragua, Ana’s life has been shaped by experiences in Spain, Honduras, Canada and the U.S., where she now channels her passion for movement, faith, and education into inspiring others. As an adjunct professor at FSCJ, she teaches Humanities for the performing arts, blending dance, fitness, Pilates, and holistic well-being. Through her brand, The Bolt Movement, Ana empowers people of all ages to embrace healthy movement and creativity. With certifications from Polestar® Pilates and as a nationally certified Pilates instructor (NCPT®), her expertise is supported by continuous learning, including a Master’s in Fine Arts and studies in advanced movement methodologies.
Beyond the studio, Ana’s influence extends to artistic collaborations, performances at events like the Theology of the Body Congress, and the creation of works such as “The Vessels of Grace & The Graces of Aging.” She is committed to serving others through children’s dance programs and movement programs for survivors of domestic abuse. Recognized with numerous awards, including Teacher of the Year and Hispanic Artist of the Year, Ana’s legacy is defined by her compassion, creativity, and dedication to using movement as a means of transformation and healing.
Follow Ana on Instagram here and read more about The Bolt Movement here.
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